Friday, August 29, 2008

Palin, or Lemon?


From Defamer:

Shocking news today as John McCain refuted his choice of Heidi Montag as vice president, instead settling on heavily lip-glossed Alaskan governor Sarah Palin. As Jeff Wells notes, Palin has a certain resemblance to Tina Fey as Liz Lemon: the horn-rimmed glasses, the messy up-do, the required fealty to an older, conservative man in charge. But where does each stand on the issues? We combed through their records (and Hulu) to find out — the results, after the jump:

QUALIFICATIONS

Palin: Former mayor of a small Alaska town, she was elected governor of the state in 2006 and has served less than two years in that office.

Lemon: "Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi."

GAY MARRIAGE

Palin: Against gay marriage and supports a federal gay marriage ban.

Lemon: "Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all have hybrid cars doesn't mean I don't love America."

THE ECONOMY

Palin: Believes that the Republicans can help get the economy and markets back on track, aimed to reduce general fund spending in Alaska by $150 million.

Lemon: "I've got, like, 12 grand in checking."

EXES

Palin: The Alaska legislature is investigating whether she put pressure on a state official to fire her ex-brother-in-law, a state trooper.

Lemon: "Last week was my birthday and everyone forgot except Dennis. He called and we went out and it wasn't weird."
Jenna: "And how was the sex?"
Lemon: "Fast and only on Saturdays—it's perfect!"

In conclusion, Barack Obama must immediately retract his nomination of Joe Biden, thus leaving him free to appoint fictional character Liz Lemon the new vice president of the Unites States of America.

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