Funny things I heard on Saturday

I had to share these...

On Saturday morning, I volunteered with a group of law students who painted a disabled man's home (through an organization that helps link volunteers with people in need of this type of assistance).

You know me and physical labor/exertion - by the end of it I wanted to die (it was hot, and the house wasn't prepped by the organization (if only the home were made of stucco. No, the home was made of deteriorating wood and we had to scrape off a good portion of the old paint before we could paint it anew).

Anyway, I shouldn't be bitching so much. I linked up with a few friends from class to work on one section of the house and we had a few laughs. At one point, one of the guys (who cracks my shit up) is debating whether he should go to the alley behind the house to take a leak (lovely). I mention how unfortunate it would be to be arrested for indecent exposure while he's out here volunteering. His response? "It's decent," he says. And by "it" - well, you know what he was referring to.

At another point we had to put some caulking around the edge of a window frame. Well none of us could let it go unnoticed that you pronounce it "cocking." Yes! I love that I'm finding all of my dirty-minded kindred spirits.

After the caulking was done and was drying, my bladdery friend says "it looks like someone [inaudible] all over the window." My ears perked up - "What?" I said. "Oh, you heard that, huh? Skeet, skeet."

Then, later that day I met up with some other friends for a much-needed drink. My classmate was filling me in on the dating history of another person who was there and mentioned that "he dated [name omitted] for a while, in the 'rugburns on the shoulders' kind of way." NICE! I'd like to date someone in that kind of way, too.